I know this is a story told many times over… It has nothing new… But I just wanted to write… Didn’t want to forget how to write… Been some time since I wrote… So here it is, as ordinary as it can get…
It was perfect. The roses were right. The wine was good. The ambiance of the restaurant was romantic, the host, polite, the food, good. The whole outing turned out to be so good; it was so much more than he ever dreamed of. Lois had smiled and laughed all throughout the lunch making Simon also grin; so much that it hurt his cheeks.
They both were now walking along the pavement, accompanied by the cool breeze of the beach. Would it be really awkward if he did it now? Should he wait until dinner? But it seemed like it was the perfect, PERFECT, time now. Simon struggled to keep the words inside his mouth.
Lois snuggled closer to him, leaning into his chest. That’s it. Now. NOW.
She turned her pretty little face up to him without changing position, and his heart swelled with all the love for her.
“Will you marry me?”
Shit! This was his proposal to the woman with whom he wanted to spend his Forever? This had to be the blandest proposal of the century. Shit!
More shit. She had no idea how many times he had practiced, how many versions and scenarios he had tried. And now, all the planning and rehearsals evaporated in his perspiration with his unimaginative proposal. Simon stopped and looked down at her, emotions clogging his throat.
“There is more, so much more Lois, that I don’t know how to put it in words.”
“Do I get a ring?”
And, it gets better! He had popped the question without even taking the ring out from his pocket. What an idiot! Lois was looking at him with such a calm expression as if it was the most charming thing he had ever said to her. Simon never felt like a bigger ass in his life. How on earth was he going to tell his kids how he proposed their mother? This ought to be the absolute fuck-up event of his life. And the whole point was to stop it from being a fuck-up.
“Of course, darling!” With trembling fingers, he took the ring from his pocket. It was just a plain solitaire diamond, embedded in a platinum band, no frills, and decorations. At least, the ring was better than his proposal. Hearts and flowers and Perfect time. His ass. He should have waited until dinner. Now that he was here, he was giving his damnest to get this right or save what was left.
“So, Lois Katherine Maywest, will you do me the honor of accepting my hand in marriage and spend your forever with me, because you, my love, you are my Forever and Happily ever after.”
Shit! From where did that line come? Oh dear lord… Did he just say that? There has to be better days than this. Argh. He never ever talked like this, even to Lois. In fact, she was so fed up with the absence of the romantic bone in him that she gave up on hearing original lines and had asked him to simply repeat ‘sickeningly’ sweet lines from a drama. He couldn’t even read it with appropriate emotions. And here he was, writing his own sickeningly sweet lines. A teenager can probably say better lines than this. Like that, Simon concluded, proposals were the toughest trial God imposed on man.
Red with embarrassment, Simon watched Lois struggling to hide her laughter.
“Forever, is it?”
“And happily ever after,” Simon chipped in.
“Are you sure, Simon?”
He blanched. Was she not sure? Did he read it all wrong? Oh, God! Was he pushing it? Did she not love him enough for forever?
“You are not?” His voice sounded stretched.
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
“Oh Simon… Nooooo? Or Oh Simon, yesss… yes yes… awwww.”
Suddenly Lois started laughing. In fact, she exploded. Heard about ROFL? Well, he was watching it being performed live. She was tearing up from all this laughter, moving about everywhere, clutching her stomach and he was still standing with the ring between his fingers, looking like the biggest idiot of forever. And he patiently waited for her laughter to subside, and for once, to get a proper answer from her. A simple Yes or No.
“Oh Simon…,” Lois screamed and ran to him and jumped on him. As in, jumped and hooked herself onto his waist. Simon lost his hold on the ring and held her tightly. She was still smiling, radiant, and glowing.
Phew. She didn’t run.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Yes?”
“Well, I needed to add some flavor to the proposal. It was so… so…”
“Bland. Unromantic. Insipid. Boring. Pathetic. You can say it. I fucked up.”
“But it still said what you wanted. It is what I want.”
“You still haven’t said yes.”
“Imagine telling how you proposed me to my mother…”
“That is if you say yes…”
“That is if you put a ring on my finger…”
“I could remedy that immediately if you lose your monkey grip on me and get back on your feet.”
Lois let go and watched Simon search on the pavement and pick the ring, which glinted in the afternoon sun.
“You know what Lois, its already out of bounds and now it’s my turn to add flavors. Let’s do it the traditional way.” Simon bent on one knee and held out the ring, the passersby stopped to watch the moment unfold, and continued, “Beautiful Lady Lois, I love you. Have since the moment I saw you. Hopelessly since I heard your laughter and Irrevocably since I kissed that pretty little lips. You make me feel all lovey-dovey and mushy…”
“Simon stop… mush… ha.. stop it already… really please…” Lois managed to say inbetween hysterical laughter.
“Embarrassed already? But Lois, I have more. I want to make daughters like you, have sons that will adore and love you. I want to see you every day, every night…”
“Si..mon…. just… enough…” Lois was still laughing. But Simon saw the change in her eyes, the hiccoughs in her laugh… the tears which were of love and not laughter…
“Let me be the one to make you laugh and smile and happy. Let me be the one for you to get angry and throw pots and pillows at, let me take care of you and love you. Make me lucky and bless my life. Please be my wife, Lois, till death do us part and beyond!”
As it turned out, the time was indeed right, when Lois whispered a thousand yes in his ears.