Punishing Desires

This need to be wanted, to belong, to be included
To be needed, understood and valued
To have someone near or far, when times are dire

This burn to be remembered and looked out for
When you seem to have fallen off the face of Earth
To know that someone cares enough to come to find you in the dark

This hunger to feel the skin and warmth of another person
To let their voice and whispers flow into the ears
To be seen, to be looked at and graced with a smile from their lips

This thirst to have a heart to heart conversation
with someone who is not afraid of listening
to the same rant over and over again

This longing to feel the other person actively listening
understanding, comprehending the chaos in the mind
While you weave through the sludge towards the other side

This urge to express without being judged
without having to pick and weigh the words
where it is just dry heaving of raw emotions and not care about meanings

But a kind ear is hard to find
Even if you do, they hardly stay long
Even if they stay, they are tuned out before you are halfway through

That blank stare is even more painful than not having anyone to talk to
Those I knows, Mmhmms, I don’t know what to say-s open gushing wounds in the gut
The emptiness echoes back, those silent screams continue to be unheard

The need, the burn, the longing, the hunger….
Remains.
Festers.