Stupid Stupid Me

I shouldn’t dream such stupid dreams… 
I shouldn’t believe some things….

I shouldn’t hold it all in… 

I need to talk more… Express more… 

But this emotionally stunted heart… 

Doesn’t know how to… What to… anymore…

The hurt and the pain permeates and has settled under my skin… 

I no longer know what I feel when you touch… 

But wait, no one has touched me in so long… Not a handshake… A formal functional hug… A arm squeeze atleast?

All this pomp and show of being the master of my own destiny…? Oh, its nothing but a hollow and substandard drama… The act played out everyday in the hopes that some one… someday will see through this charade… 

Again, empty hopes… Vain dreams… 

I am in so much control of myself that I have forgotten what it feels to be out of control… 

I know… I understand… 

Sometimes some dreams remain just dreams…. some feelings are felt only in dreams… Some freedom found only in dreams… 

Some people are truly loved only in dreams…. 

And yet… I dream… hope…. wait… Shamelessly… Everday… 

Stupid stupid me…. 

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