My sins and shame, the lies and the blames, the guilt and the dirty silt have taken roots in the dark spaces between my heartbeats. A place to live, blood to feed and lush arteries to slice open for entertainment, what more could they ask for? I couldn’t throw them out. They are mine. My responsibility. So much for all the hospitality… charity… Insanity…

They push and pull, it aches and hurts and I cant help but remember them everyday, in my every breath. Somedays, my heart struggles to breathe through them. The roots run deep and far. They have penetrated even my bones. It takes away ten years from my life. Sometimes more. 

Nothing changes. The lies I told remain the same. The guilt stands as hard as rocks always. The stains of sin scarring and marring, everything I do. No amount of rain, no amount of bleach will remove this. Even when uprooted wholly, it grew again, more visciously, venomously. One day, its going to take over, tangle me in its tentacles, crush me between them and strangle, squeezing out the last breath in me. 

I might just wait it out… 


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