Dreams. Dreams. Dreams. Scarlett was seeing different dreams everyday. Though she did not remember most of them by morning, she felt the dream in her heart. She knew that she had lived the dream, rather than see it.
Once she saw that she was trapped inside a bottle and she was floating in the sea. She was unable breathe. She panicked and couldn’t gather enough strength to pop open the bottle. She woke up with her arms aching from all the pushing and shoving from inside the bottle.
Another night, she saw that she was in a museum. Walking in the dark hall, along the wall of paintings that were highlighted in yellow lights. Then she heard a sound and turned back, to find that the hall was suddenly lit with white light. She was momentarily blinded by the light. Squinting her eyes open, she heard small sounds and she was shocked by what she saw. The paintings were waking up. Images were coming alive.
Another night she dreamed of the sea. Sometimes the water was dark and black. Then it got lighter, almost bottle green. The waves high and harsh, foaming and frothing. Then she saw two forms in the sea. Two naked people, a man and a woman, reaching out to each other in turbulent sea. Then she felt like it was she in the water, the weight of the tide dragging her down, the waves crashing around her. She is trying to grab the hand of that man. She almost caught his hand and then she woke up. Scarlett couldn’t remember if she really caught his hand or not.
Scarlett didn’t know what to make of these dreams. She was also scared of the any sort or Freudian interpretations of these dreams. It was really better to forget them than to remember them.
It was early morning, nearly six o’clock. Its been three months of relentless corporate life. She had not pause at all. Pushing herself like this, she knew she was being unreasonable and reckless. She had constructed her own personal hell. But, she felt terribly lonely after talking to her mother that night. She was losing all excuses to stay away from them. Her pride was cracking and she knew she will not hold up against the next wave of emotions her mother’s call would bring.
Seriously, why was she staying away from them. If her mother could forgive her father and find peace, for what was she holding grudge for. It’s not like he did not call her or try to meet her and apologize. He had tried. Many times for many years. But she had always closed the door on him.
Did she not have the heart for forgive her father? Was she the one not allowing herself to heal? Early morning light was slowly wiping away the remnants of the dark night. She thought about her father and how he used kiss her and wake her up. Those were actually the good mornings. The rest was just mornings. She missed those days. Could she bring those mornings back?
“It does feel like a good morning today.” Scarlett smiled at that thought. Watching the dawn bloom into a pleasant day seemed to send her some message, it was telling her something. Everything was not dark and doom always. That song, Let it go, it came to her mind.
“Am I having an epiphany? Everyone has fears and secrets. But it should never you stop living for too long. It takes time to find the courage to be ready to face anything, hurt and love and pain and happiness. Loving and forgiving is a risk. The only risk worth taking.”
Standing on the balcony, feeling the sun warm her skin and mind, Scarlett thought, “It is a risk. But I wouldn’t know until you try. I think I am ready to try.” And she hummed the song Let it go… “And it looks like I’m the queen….”
It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me I’m free!
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry!