Another eve. Another attempt.
The last one, I hope. No matter how hard I try, its never enough. There is the never ending flow of curses and bitter talk and screaming, gritting of teeth and clenching of fists and hovering on the verge of tears. Really, its not helping.
But I cannot think like that, it would be unfair, to everyone. And I am not not going to be unfair. I have been denied enough chances during various points of growing up, enough to learn to give chances to others, if its my capacity. It takes a big heart and lot of forgiveness and kindness, to give a second chance to someone who has wronged you.
If I have learnt anything in life. it is to try. Sometimes, those chances are nothing short of magic. Or it will make you look like a fool in front of a lot of people. Nonetheless, they are all lessons, which I am sure will guide me later in life and which I will pass on to all those who are willing to listen and understand.
Every failed attempt, I blame it on myself. What is left, I blame t on the world. Blame it on the blown up ego, fragile feelings, tender heart, hidden emotions, projected personality. Blame it on the blue sky and the green grass. Blame it on the blaring horns, glaring sun, blame it on the stars and breeze. Blame it on God, the universe and all that is beyond.
After all this, what s trully left is, to try. Again.