Heaven or Hell

heaven or hellThere he was, standing in the witness box and looking at the judge, the lawyers and all the people that came to see the proceedings.

This place is strange. Inspite of the tension and nervous shivering he was not sweating. It was not cold or hot. The temperature was in fact pleasant. But he was not feeling pleasant at all. After 80 years of living on Earth, this place was scaring the shit out of him. The calm serene atmosphere and the expectant faces and the feeling that time stops here was more than he could stomach. If he was on earth now, he would have fallen violently sick in front of all these people.

In this White Court, he was not the old man who died two days ago, but a young man of 25. He remembered his youthful days, the energy, the confidence, the carefree life. That was life. As he was wishing for that life again, there was a movement in the hall. The curtains opposite parted and a woman walked in. She walked straight into the witness box opposite him. She looked vaguely familiar to him.”I know her. What was her name?”
She gripped hard the railings of the box and looked up straight into his eyes, and let out out a deep sigh.

But it was he who lost his breath. If it was possible to die again, he would have a hundred times more.

It was HER. He was seeing her again after so many long long years. How did he not recognize her? There was a time when he would have recognized even her fingerprints. They both had shared a relationship like that. But it had all ended. Evaporated. And all because of him.

Now he understood why this whole court press and why he has appeared in all his old glory of 25 years of age. He had probably committed the biggest ever sin in that age. All his life he dodged the guilt and managed to convince himself that things like this happened to people all over the world all the time. But was he ever totally convinced? Maybe not. And it just got proved with him standing in the witness box with her right in front of his eyes.

He couldn’t meet her eyes. He was not sure what he would see in them, what she would see in his eyes. He could not bear to see her lifeless sunken and passive eyes. He would rather remember her wild coffee brown eyes that had taken him on n-number journeys straight down to her heart. Later, it was in those same dark and deep eyes that he saw her heart break and love bleed as tears.

He was not sure if the White Court was Heaven. But right now, It sure felt like Hell.

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