Heartache for a lifetime

I did not feel like telling Him about this new friend.
That was my first mistake.
I always avoided mentioning this friend’s name.
Or I mentioned his name along with so many other names.
In my heart, I knew that though it was not technically lying, what I was doing was not right. But I continued.
And thus it began. The journey of falsehood, lies, and excuses.

I found fault in everything He said and did.
I complained about it to the new friend and searched for solace in his words.
I divided my time between the two.
One was spent fighting. The other was spent crying.

I kept asking myself, why is He not like him?
Why can’t He understand me like the other guy does?
Why can’t he talk to me, or care for me like this friend does?
It only made me fight more.
All these arguments and quarrels,
Convinced me that I have reached the end of the road.
And its time for us to split.

Only it didnt end.
Or it did and something else began.
The friend stopped being a friend and wanted more.
That is when I realised all this while, that is what he wanted.
I wondered was he being a friend or just waiting his chance?
All that cool understanding… was it a tactics to reach his goal in the end?
Was he a true friend or a fake one?

What does it matter now?
Nothing is no longer what it was or what it should have been.
Neither love remained nor friendship.
All that is left is remorse.
With each passing day, I realise what a fool I have been.
And the burden gets heavier.

This is what you get for being fake.
If you hide the truth from those who love you,
Someone will also hide their real intentions towards you.
Your heart always knows when you are doing right and when you want to sin.
It sends warning as fast heartbeats.
Be smart enough to realise it.
And save yourself the heartache of a lifetime.

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