A hundred million times…

Is there anyone whose heart has not been hurt?
Mine was hurt a hundred million times.
First, when my mom took Adam in her arms and not me
Then, when Granny gifted the charm bracelet to my sister
Again when Santa ignored the request to bring back my lost bycycle

It broke again when Angela chose Christy as her best friend
When Ms. Julie left school and got married
When the candy man stopped coming
When the winter ended and there were no more snowmen
When Dad went away and there were no more nights of laughter
Mom no longer opened the door to hug me when I came back from school
Nights I slept alone and my sister sneaked away through the window
I was not selected in my dream school,
And I cried for 3 days and 3 nights
Life can’t get worse than this, can it?
But then came the final blow…
The broken heart shattered again
When Daniel said, “We need to talk!”
How many more times, my heart broke I do not know.
Some were small words, some were deeds.
There were cheats and crooks and shrewed fellows
Who came just to kill your happiness…
Countless times… ‘n’ number of times…
My heart broke and still it continues to beat…

It still hurts to be the one left behind.
It hurts to grow up a little everyday.
It breaks my heart to realize I have to get used to this.

There are bigger tragedies in the world I know.
There is more grief in someone else’ life, I know.
I am more fortunate, more blessed than many.

So, even after all these,
If my heart continues to beat and give me life…
Why cry? Why be depressed?
Why should I give up this one chance to make life count?

I fight my demons bravely now…
In solitude I find peace and strength.
Then, everytime my heart broke, I cried silent tears.
Now, everytime my heart breaks, I keep a smile on my lips.


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